I am Thought Police. Any thoughts on this?

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Hi! I am agent Shurnuff! I work for Whom Land. Security.
There is a great mis understanding usually about What we agents, Thought Police, do.
Mainly we sit around on the computer and watch your Facebook and Pinterest. We are not CIA.

It is not as glamerous a job as Joseph Stalin George Orwell made mention of.
There are times on the street, ( say Nor’Luns, Mardi Gras) when I am compelled to ask someone,
“what’s with the mask? You hiding something?”

Wal-Mart:

“what’s with the sun glasses and running shoes? This is Wal-Mart!”

Arresting people for having obvious thoughts is not my job though; My job is to detect dissident and unapproved
thoughts; Thoughts contrary to healthy Government, ( thought Police. Get it?)

I do not Correct, question my Boss(es)! I did once:I went to The Spielberg Building,( under renovations presently ) and asked,
“why try to detect offensive thoughts? Just look at Facebook, they state plainly they hate Obama, XYZ. nothing hidden there.

You ladies, guys need to get out more often. Go to Wal-Mart at midnight. It is a zoo paradise for Thought Police”.

I was reprimanded.

A Reprimand is a letter, Missive, or Drone attack,you get from superiors essentially saying someone complained about you. That “someone”, you-know-who, Is at every company party, every fund raiser, usually drives the company golf cart and writes down every word that comes over the Stalin, New age announcement speaker and the exact time the speaker cracked to life. We will all get a memo or arrest warrant, from you-know-who, the memo Nazi.

The Reprimand is also a way of informing the recipient that ” Such statements-actions-abuse-bullying-prattle-innuendo-eye contact-pranks-explosives, missing fund raiser events, drone attacks, and/or horseplay cannot be tolerated and do not do this again!”

The Reprimands are numbered.
The Boss(es) figure that you will, of course, -By God!-do it again and so a record is kept of how many times you pull that prank or mash that button.

I was pulled off the Wal-Mart watch once or twice.
I often viewed the greeters at the door as being suspicious.
I would say to them, ” seen any suspicious people in here?”
” just you, sir!” ( intoned with Go to Hell Have a nice day smile.)

I hate that smile they wear when they say that! I am sure they practice for hours every day.
His,her, their families must have some trying moments:

Grandma,GrandPa , DEAR!
the toilet is stopped up again. Did you…why are you smiling like that?”

DEAR! Supper is ready, I know you Don’t like Campbell’s soup, but the MacDonald massacre was a long, long time ago! … why are you smiling like that?
DEAR!” Let’s get you to work. Will you stop with that smiling already?”

I do have a badge. I pulled it out twice in Wales, Wal-Mart. Each time, the suspicious, anti government pervert I tackled pulled out a badge also.

” Sorry Alice,*Alex!
Is everybody here a wolf in sheep’s clothing ?” I hissed.
(* same agent twice )

Reprimand #2: not following the Memo: It is early Fall; agents to wear running shoes- please do not tackle.

I did not get that memo!

I reminded the Boss(es) at DisneySpielberg complex that I was on a big case last leap year, Spring, when a man wearing a fedora- GREEN; grabbed a lunch meat and scurryed suspiciously to the back room marked in plain language, EMPLOYEES ONLY!
Did I underline scurryed suspiciously ?
I tackled him in Aisle 5 right where they use to carry the Calligraphy pens.They make great darts.

Company Memo: Find out why Wal-Mart does not carry Caligraphy pens any more.

His lame story, ” Dude! I work here. I have only 10 more minutes for lunch. The Green hat? It is St. Patty day!”

A Likely story! and I told my Boss(es) that!
I also reminded her, him,them that I wanted to put that dissident into a black sedan and wisk him away- never to be seen again- for what he was thinking right then and there in front of witnesses!
I then warned all the witnesses they could be next.

Being a thought Police has some mixture of Irony to it. For instance , all the other agents respect my opinion but do not always act upon it.
Sometimes,You-know-who, will cut a clip out of ” Dear Editor” newspapers from dissidents threatening to hang spank a politician; ( it is not always you, Hillary!) they bring the clipping to me and ask; what do you Think?
I reply, “NICE TRY!”
I do not fall for those old CIA tricks.
SINCE THERE IS AN OBVIOUS THREAT TO HARM IN THE LETTER, IT IS OUT OF OUR JURISDICTION!
I am a Thought Police not a THREAT Police.
Let’s leave the actual threats for MATRIX, NASA and M.I.B.and that agent “Smith” whoever that weird Misanthrope is!

Bended Note: Sometimes you dissidents mask your true thoughts with Cookie Recipes, Health Blogs and Travel.
Just remember……..
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You are being watched!

It rained all night the day I left.

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About danielsion

I am not an Historian and I am not a Reporter. I am not from Mars-two-moons. I Never saw Naga. I never saw his prisoners.( well..cough...you All are its prisoners) I know a little something about nothing. The Annunaki never spoke to me.The Nephilim never grew more than 30 feet tall .And more importantly: NASA is not looking for me...yet. I dream of whirled peas.
This entry was posted in Science fiction\comedy. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to I am Thought Police. Any thoughts on this?

  1. This one had me laughing DanielSion. Thanks.

    Like

    • Lee Guelff says:

      OMGosh…The Wal-Mart smiling man have a nice day but you can really go to hell…too funny. How is it that you pierce the corporate mindset so well from way out in the boondocks? You clairvoyant or sompin? For the lucky readers who don’t know …this recent missive from my good friend comes from the mind of an actual Writer…no need to ask the question ‘What he mean’?

      Like

      • danielsion says:

        Sgt Rock! We can sure use a man like you! First we take D.C. ( District of Crime)
        Then we send the Airborne Ghost; resting NOT peacefully at Range seven-niner.This is a Chopper blast; leave TA-50 behind. You read Lickin’Chickin?

        Like

  2. danielsion says:

    Hi Suzanne! How nice to hear from you. Sometimes a comedy relief is a relief. 🙂

    Like

  3. swamiyesudas says:

    Hello, Daniel, it would seem that I need quite a bit of knowledge of what is happening in the West, before I can appreciate (fully) what You have presented. Made a good read though. It is Also Frightening. 😦 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • danielsion says:

      Hello my dear friend!
      The Thought Police are a concern brought to the west by an author, George Orwell.
      In 1948 he wrote a book called NINETEEN EIGHTY FOUR.
      In the book, the U.S. Government was called ” Big Brother”.
      The theme was “Big Brother is Watching you!”
      Big Brother had Police on the streets watching people to see if they could detect anti government thoughts.
      My satire was based soon that.
      I will post another and tell more in that post.
      I look forward to your post and comments Yesudas.
      Your friend
      Danny

      Liked by 1 person

      • swamiyesudas says:

        Thank You, Daniel! …I am familiar with George Orwell’s Animal farm, and have written quite a few posts based on that. Though I have heard of 1984 and Big Brother, had not known they were his. My loss. I LOVE G.O., and shall read these his works.

        Today, NO govt can be said NOT to be watching Us. Who is worse than russia in this? But India is soon ‘progressing’ in that direction! Alas.

        People criticise the US such a lot. But at least the criticism comes out. What about russia and china, for instance? Let’s be Thankful for Small Graces, not that We should not keep speaking against the Ills in the society. I do plenty of that, and that is why ‘Social Issues’ is Such an Important Tag in my Site!

        Hearty Regards. Keep up Your Good work. 🙂

        Like

      • danielsion says:

        Yes, Yesudas,
        Everyone is equal…some are more equal than others.
        Napolian from Animal Farm.

        I think George Orwell wrote that with Stalin in mind. After the Revolution Stalin began murdering his comrades. Many if them disappeared after being thrown into black sedans. Then railway cars and then to the Archipelago.
        You are right, China is a horror of Big Brother tabloid report.
        Social injustice throughout history is brought to the forefront by fearless warriors of the ages…like yourself Yesudas, using the pen, print and oration to teach the difference between honey and vinegar.

        Liked by 1 person

      • swamiyesudas says:

        Thank You, Danny, I am Moved by Your kind Support. Hearty Regards. 🙂

        Like

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